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Friday, July 14, 2006

Summer blues...

The Crepe Myrtle is Blooming! We have 3 in our yard and this is just a taste of the beauty! I never really appreciate this stick of a tree in winter, and then prune it back to almost nothing in the spring. What do you get if you miss a few maintence seasons? This! We have lived here for four years and this is the best bloom year!

Summer Blues, I am having a difficult time staying patient with Hillard. It's really hard to keep in mind that he "can't help himself" when he does such selfish things. I would like to think any parents reaction would be mine, but sometimes I just think "I can't be helping"! I get frustrated with him so quickly, and he always just has this blank stare.. Instead of me slowing down I just get more frustrated and give up. I don't want to be this frustrated, and I don't want to give up. After yelling at him, I end up hugging him and telling him I love him and that I am sorry we don't understand each other; this happens almost everyday....
I see the important connection that Brandon has made with me, and it reminds me of what connections are missing with Hillard. He is simply autistc and is missing that, "I want to be with my family and connect gene" I guess as parents we constantly feel guilty for our short comings when it comes to such important people, our kids.....

I wanted to make sure to mention that I taught my beginners knitting class last night at Yarntopia... Can I say it loud enough, I loved it! I really enjoyed teaching and cheering people along, giving them confidence.... I am so glad I have this oppurtunity:)
I am working on a secret sock project for my friend Jenn I have already shown her what they look like but I may submit the pattern for Knitty.....
I discovered the pure fun of log cabin dishcloths! Thank you Mason Dixion Knitting for remiding me how simple things can be fun again!
Knitting pics next post, Promise ;)


Blogger Bethel said...

Catherine - check out my blog - every parent needs a cheerleader...


10:16 AM  
Blogger amylovie said...

You do a wonderful job with Hillard. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

The students loved you last night. I'm so glad you are part of the Yarntopia family.


11:01 AM  
Anonymous Esther said...

Being a mother of an autistic boy myself, I know we tend to be too hard on ourselves - give yourself some credit - sounds like you are an amazing mom :-)

11:18 AM  
Blogger Shez75 said...


I'm sure you are doing a great job with Hillard! Just worrying so much about getting upset with him is proof.

Your Crepe Myrtle is beautiful! We have 4 in our yard and I keep telling BTB that we need to prune them to fill them out some. This fall I'm doing it, with or without him.

Sounds like fun, teaching beginning knitters. Wish I knew a few and felt like teaching them. Sounds kind of neat.

Sheri in GA

3:00 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

It sound like you're a good mom because you care enough to worry.

Your Crepe Myrtle is beautiful. It reminds me of my former back yard in Spring, Tx. :(

Teaching is fun and rewarding. I taught knitting to a group of my Korean friends.

5:11 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I'm sure you are doing a great job with your son! Being the mother of an autistic child is not easy! Give yourself some credit girl. :) He has the most important thing of all, your love!

5:51 AM  
Blogger Shelley said...

I'm sorry things are rough with your son. It must make you frustrated not being able to connect with him the way you'd like. I know you love him no matter what though. You're a good mom from all I've read here, and I don't doubt this for a minute. Wish there was something I could do, well there is - I will pray :o)

8:04 PM  
Blogger Shelley said...

Hmm...I hope my above post doesn't sound mean or cruel or anything. I don't mean it that way. I will pray in regards to your feeling frustrated and what not.

8:06 PM  
Blogger trek said...

Hey, autism is a tough thing to deal with as a parent. Try to remember to do something nice for yourself today.

11:52 AM  
Anonymous keri said...

I would put your feet up, and maybe take a bath or knit a little. You are an amazing mom, and some days are a little tougher than others. I will keep you both in my thoughts. =)

12:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sweetie, I can't imagine what you go through, I can only sympathize. I think I would get very frustrated as well; that's a normal, HUMAN reaction, so don't beat yourself up. I think you're a great mom. :-)

2:21 PM  
Anonymous Bossygirl said...

Wow--there is so much in your blog. I'm so excited for your teaching opportunity! I wish I could sit in, but it's kind of a long drive from Ohio.*L* I'll never know what you go through with your son, but I can offer my good thoughts and prayers for patience and renewal. My husband's niece has Asperger's and, though I know it's not exactly the same, I had a very similar conversation with her mom not too long ago. I'll say to you what I said to her...sounds like Hilliard picked the right mom. :-D Hang in there.

2:50 PM  
Blogger Wool Winder said...

I've heard the act of pruning a Crepe Myrtle referred to a "Crepe Murder". It's really not necessary, unless you want to keep these trees small in size. Some varieties will grow to be taller than your house. We had some that size when we lived in Alabama. They were beautiful.

It is obvious to me that you love Hillard and want the best for him. Hang in there.

Good luck on your pattern submission!

6:54 PM  
Blogger CynCyn said...

i'm pretty sure all parents feel that way sometimes (I know my friend with a new baby gets frustrated with her 3 yo much easier now) and then feel guilty. Do you have any support outside the home? And, school less than a month away!!

9:54 AM  

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